The Ex-Good Girl Podcast Sara Bybee Fisk

Because everybody needs a break sometimes, the Ex-Good Girl podcast is on a four week break. We'll be back on June 5th with new episodes.

Until then, listen to some of your old favorites, get caught up, or join my Stop People Pleasing Facebook group by finding the link in the show notes below.

I can't wait to connect with you.
Find Sara here:
https://sarafisk.coach
https://www.instagram.com/sarafiskcoach/
https://www.facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching/
https://www.youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333
https://www.tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach
What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!

I am so grateful to have a secure relationship with my husband, but it wasn’t always that way. Earlier in our relationship, I was terrified of being left by him, and I built myself an armor of hyper independence and dishonesty. I pretended to be ways I wasn’t to stay safe and “belong” with him. This lack of safety and insecurity in our relationship, I eventually realized, existed because I wasn’t safe with myself, and it wasn’t until I learned to create that safety with me that I could start to create safety in our relationship. When I did learn to become secure in myself, I was able to see more clearly what needed to change in our marriage, and I had the strength to ask for that change. In this episode, I talk about how I learned to create security with myself and how from there, I began creating security in my marriage and all my relationships. For those of you who are, like I was, feeling stuck in a painful relationship, I hope this episode will give you some clues into your own process of creating security in yourself first and in your relationships second. I can’t wait for you to listen, and I’d love to hear your thoughts when you do.
Find Sara here:
https://sarafisk.coach
https://www.instagram.com/sarafiskcoach/
https://www.facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching/
https://www.youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333
https://www.tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach
What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!

I’m incredibly thankful for Ashmae Hoiland for creating such an engaging conversation this week. Ashmae is a talented writer, painter, and maker.

Ashmae’s upcoming essay collection, Letters to a Leaving Mormon, will be released on November 1, 2024. Ahead of its release, we wanted to speak about how writing- one of the most ancient practices of humankind- helps us to better know and understand ourselves.

Because of all of the programming we get through school and what constitutes “good“ writing, many of us are hesitant to write. We often believe that we have to write in a manner that will please someone when they read it, or share stories that are inspiring or happy. Writing can feel perforative and hard, especially when we are doing it for someone else. Writing doesn’t have to be that. Writing can be an exploration of dark places, confusion, loose ends- it doesn’t have to be pretty. You don’t need to tell a story for posterity — you need to tell it for yourself.

I’m very excited for you to listen.

Find AshMae here:
https://www.Ashmae.com
https://www.instagram.com/birdsofashmae


Find Sara here:
https://sarafisk.coach
https://www.instagram.com/sarafiskcoach/
https://www.facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching/
https://www.youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333
https://www.tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach
What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!

We have this idea that acceptance means approval, that if we accept when something goes wrong—when a boundary is crossed, when someone disappoints us, when we get rejected—we’re saying it’s okay. When this is how we define acceptance, we avoid it; and when we avoid acceptance, we reject reality. We avoid processing our unmet expectations; we avoid the grief that comes with unmet expectations; and ultimately, we keep ourselves stuck ruminating on what should have been. When we don’t accept what is, we use up all our energy thinking about the reality we can’t control until there’s no brain space left to think about the reality we can control. We tend to fear that accepting the reality of a situation means accepting our powerlessness to it, but when we think about it differently, acceptance actually becomes the thing that gives us our power back. That’s why I want to share my new definition of acceptance with you. I hope this will help you reclaim your power when unmet expectations leave you feeling powerless. Can’t wait for you to listen!
Find Sara here:
https://sarafisk.coach
https://www.instagram.com/sarafiskcoach/
https://www.facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching/
https://www.youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333
https://www.tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach
What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!

Today I have Elizabeth Hester joining me on the podcast. She’s a current member of the Stop People Pleasing group coaching program that started back in January. She’s a mother, teacher, and lifelong student. She’s also the owner of multiple UPS stores in North Carolina. She’s been processing her grief from the loss of her husband in the ways that work best for her. Grieving goes hand in hand with people pleasing- it’s all about getting comfortable with uncomfortable feelings. While in the group program, she’s learned how to stop apologizing, how to say no, and how to respond when strangers ask her about her husband. Grief teaches you to acknowledge how short life is and not waste time people pleasing anymore. Can’t wait for you to listen.
Find Sara here:
https://sarafisk.coach
https://www.instagram.com/sarafiskcoach/
https://www.facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching/
https://www.youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333
https://www.tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach
What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!

I’m so grateful for my guest Kimberly Mathis and this week’s fascinating conversation. Kimberly is a queer therapist-turned-general life coach with an ADHD brain who helps people change what feels unchangeable. She teaches her clients how to make their own decisions and navigate difficult relationships - including the one they have with themselves. She works with clients 1:1, loves sharing her work and life with her community on Instagram, and hosts a podcast called, "Decisions Change Everything." Healthy, respectful relationships can come in many forms. Traditional Western society pushes a heteronormative narrative about what makes a “successful” relationship- where longevity is valued more than quality. It IS possible to explore attractions and relationship dynamics in ways that are healthy, respectful, and respect your autonomy and someone else's. Communication is key, along with being vulnerable and tolerating discomfort. Can’t wait for you to listen. 

Find Kimberly here:
https://www.kimberlymathis.com
https://www.instagram.com/thekimberlymathis/
https://www.facebook.com/thekimberlymathis


Find Sara here:
https://sarafisk.coach
https://www.instagram.com/sarafiskcoach/
https://www.facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching/
https://www.youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333
https://www.tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach
What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!